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21 April, 2009

Poilce Stop

A couple of nights ago Ms. Allclick and I got the "Joneses" for some delicious take out ice cream. We hopped into the car in sweat pants and t-shirts we wear around the house and set off on our merry way. The bank is only just over the hill so we thought "why not just pick up some cash while we are out?". Great idea until we crested the hill and realised it was 10:00pm on a weekend and a perfect time for police to do a sobriety check point. Luckily the traffic wasn't too bad going one way so I was quickly approached by a poilce officer. "Good evening folks" he said, shining his light into my eyes and then the back of the car "Haven't been drinking tonight......havewe?" He crammed those last two words together quickly. I laughed a little and said no and he let us on our way. We hadn't been drinking but I was still a little nervous from the situation. My previous experience with police had been more formal and cold. This police officer was polite, friendly and asked us about our drinking like a dad would his son on the way home from prom. I couldn't help but be amused. After reaching the bank we then had to turn around and come back through. This time a lady officier approached the window. "you guys not been drinking tonight have you? Well, actually I don't care if she has been drinking but have you?" I laughed a little again. She was so casual and we really didn't look like we had been to a bar that evening. Again, I said "no" and we moved along. Thanks local police for doing a great job. I hear Pittsburgh might need some training from you.

20 April, 2009

Food Dominance

About 2 million years ago man was evolving. There was a daily battle for survival which involved staying safe, hunting and looking after the family. Simple but dangerous and hard times indeed. A lot has happened since then including the way we look at the one of our most basic needs: food. It progressed to a three day meal cycle of breakfast lunch and dinner (although my grandmother insisted on supper too) but even three meals a day is not enough it seems. Now, food seemed to have permeated every aspect of our lives like microwaves into a pot noodle. It has become a constant companion akin to the mobile phone and wallet. No, we aren't carrying around minuscule, space age meals-in-a-pill but we are allowing it into areas of our lives it doesn't rightly belong (In this, I include taking a bottle of water to just about anywhere you go acting as if we are in a third world country without adequate clean tap water). People now eat just about anywhere. In their cars, at their desks at work, in business meetings, in lectures at school, in the classroom, at sporting events, concerts, the movie theater...the list goes on. It is no wonder that the obesity rates are increasing as our availability of food increases and our external restraints on where food is allowed are increasingly removed (I think we all know that we need those external restraints as TV and the Internet destroyed our willpower several years ago). I fear that if food was in the air would we "breathe" it 24/7 until our vast, blubbery bodies gave out on us.

It's a social obligation that we must make eating food more taboo. Fatty foods could be taxed, sure. We could ban food from certain places (although cinemas would go out of business), but I think to have the most impact we need to become revolted by the sight of say, someone eating a burger in a moving vehicle. It needs to become absolutely disgusting for a person to chow down some grub in the doctor's waiting room. Eating food in the classroom should be the pinnacle of bad taste, lame-ness and should be completely wedgie worthy.

Thus I implore you to stop eating all over the place and try and resist that bagel during the meeting today. Your making us all hungry.

Mildy annoying things that people say

1. People who say "Legos" instead of "Lego".
2. People who say "uh-huh" when I say "Thank you".
3. The additional item they offer you at the drive through - "..and would you like a new fish taco burger melt with that?"
4. The saying " At the top of the hour". Especially when it is overly abused by HLN's Showbiz tonight.
5. The phrase "Biased Liberal Media" without actually saying who they are talking about.

Bah, it's Monday!

16 April, 2009